yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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