a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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