Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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