I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
