Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
