He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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