So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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