Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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