Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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