He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
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A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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