Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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