Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
