he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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