I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
