I'm eating all of the evidence.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
