i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize