how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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