his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
