you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
