he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
