So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
