dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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