I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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