I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Every concussion has its silver lining
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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