i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
