i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
