Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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