Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize