Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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