how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.