so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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