Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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