Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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