margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
