Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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