just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
