Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
