Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize