I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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