If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
