I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
