people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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