***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
