Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
