I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
