I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
