Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Your dad touched me again.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
