Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
