Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
