Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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