...so i touched it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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