That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
