69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Are my feet made of real feet?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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