But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
