Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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