Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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