everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
