Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
