How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize