You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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