You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
