I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
