You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
